[ The hour gives Rafa time to practice. In Eudio he could have made an appletini with his eyes closed. Now he has to test that theory. The liquor looks different here, the bottles are different. Sometimes they glow. He goes on scent, and ends with something flecked with gold and lurid pink. But it smells right.
So does Dick, when he arrives. Rafa catches the scent before he sees him, and it brings back every moment wrapped in warm arms, the smooth chest rising and falling beneath him while his fingers had traced over scars, the sweet words whispered in his ear, the bright blue of eyes that had crinkled when they looked at him.
He turns, the drink in hand, and sees Dick almost exactly as he'd left him in Eudio. Almost. Some scars are missing, the scars that Damon had left. That brings mixed feelings, because it's confirmation that this is not Rafa's Dick, but it means no other vampire has ever marked him.
That shouldn't matter.
It does matter a little bit. And then Dick is as sweet as ever, making Rafa smile as soon as he speaks. He goes over to him, with the bar standing between them. He leans over it to set the drink on a coaster in front of Dick, and then looks up, dark eyes meeting brilliant blue. His smile softens. ]
You always knew how to charm me. The way you look at me as if I am the handsome one, as if you have never seen a mirror in your life.
[ He taps the base of the glass. ]
It looks wrong, but trust me. It should taste right.
( dick's eyebrows lift at the mysterious color of the drink, a slippery gaze raising from the glass to meet rafa's eye. more than suspicious, he looks amused, silently picking himself out of the hoodie on his shoulders, folding it delicately over the back of his chair. underneath, he has on a dark blue henley, rolled to the elbows, frayed at the edges.
he supposes it's probably a good thing, to be told you're beautiful by someone you find stunning. but -- he's not a big fan. surely rafa must know how lovely he is, and if he doesn't, surely someone must remind him every now and then. he feels the carnal instinct to force rafa into trusting how beautiful he finds him -- and then he has the thought i probably told him that all the time. he swallows down a lump of emotion, stealing the glass with a brief tip in rafa's direction. )
If it tastes half as good as you look, I will be happy.
( yeah, he should definitely reel it back. from here on out, he's on his best behavior. he takes a drink smoothly, eyeing the drink with an understanding nod shortly after. )
Not bad, Rafa. You can make me drinks anytime.
( REEL IT BACK ... right. he nods more affirmatively in rafa's direction at the question, setting the glass down with a soft clink. )
It's something, alright. I'm not entirely sure how I'm feeling, but I think I really needed a drink, so. Thank you. And thank you for meeting up with me. I know it's probably ... it probably sucks, kind of.
[ Rafa comes around the bar now. He perches on the stool beside Dick and smiles at him. His eyes sweep briefly down over his arms, over his hands. Both are so well known to him.
His scent is the same to every last detail. The only difference is the scars. Which means that this Dick was never in Eudio, but he is still...
He is still. He is not like the other one, the one that had looked like Rafa. Or like Hunter. ]
You think that it sucks. [ Deadpan. Also, that phrase sounds strange on Rafa's tongue. ] To find you alive, to find you here, you think that would not make me happy. I thought you were lost.
[ And part of him is. That's a thing. The Dick that remembers Rafa kissing him is not here.
But this is Dick. In every way, it is. And he's alive. That's better than not knowing either way. ]
I will make you all the drinks you want. I hope I get to make many. I only worried I was making you...awkward, shall we say.
( he can't help but laugh a little at that, biting his tongue as he sways on the stool. it sucks definitely doesn't suit rafa, but it's charming nonetheless -- a little soft and a little sweet, and kind of him, what he says further. he doesn't know him, but he's happy dick is alive, so -- dick will take it, gladly, as the friendliest face he's seen in a long while.
taking another sip, he shakes his head, hopefully setting rafa's worries at ease. dick feels the unruly need to console him, to show he doesn't need to apologize for anything. )
Don't worry about it, seriously. I'm learning that, ( his lips twist, a nervous habit of his. his eyes stay glued to the wooden bar. ) well, first, I'm incredibly charming and it is impossible to make me awkward. Also, I'm the one who doesn't remember what everyone here remembers, so I should be the one that feels bad, not you, or Vex, or Nico.
All of a sudden I am way more interested in where your accent comes from, then whatever Eudio is? One track mind, oops.
[ So Nico, too. That can't have been easy at all. Rafa's nose wrinkles in sympathy before he banishes the look, afraid of making Dick think about it too much. He can't become the Dick they've lost. It's obvious that it isn't just a memory issue. If it were, then Damon's scars would be here, and they are not. They can't ask this Dick to be another one, no matter how alike they may seem.
It seems they'll have to let Dick get to know them all over again. Rafa had enjoyed that the first time around. ]
Sicily. [ He says, with a little smile. ] An island off the coast of Italy. It has been a long time since I left, but the accent will never leave me, I think. I live in Prague these days. It is the centre of my kingdom, which reaches across Europe. Most who live with me are vampires, but there are also werewolves, some witches, and some others more removed. Even at that, I think it is a safer land than your Gotham.
( even though it might sound a little silly to his ears, dick nods and takes rafa's information as fact, attentive and interested in what he's saying. he can't claim it's entirely because he wants to learn, and not because he enjoys the sound of rafa's voice, or the movement of his lips, but he's definitely not saying that, either.
he had some relatively funny run ins with vampires, predominately ones who wanted to eat him, and called him weird things like delicious flesh bag or voluptuous meat. also not to be mentioned: he thinks it would be a more enjoyable experience, were rafa's fangs on the line.
he clears his throat, ) Yeah, more would be great.
I've been to Italy, molto bello. You said kingdom, so you're a king, then, right? ( dick whistles, impressed. ) I think I'm supposed to be making you the drinks, in that case.
[ Rafa flits back around the bar with superhuman speed, appearing on the other side in the blink of an eye. He tells himself he's doing that so that Dick can get used to his otherness, and not because he's showing off.
He's showing off a little.
He shouldn't be flirting. He ought to stop that, because it's a bad idea, and it crosses some lines, and there's probably confusion involved, because his feelings are definitely excessive for a man he has technically just met. Halting this would be the right decision.
He does not make the right decision. He was never good at resisting temptation, and this Dick is so very much the Dick he knows. This whole experience reminds him of their first few nights together.
He puts the drink quickly together, different bottles and measures turning over in his hands. ]
I am a King. Technically, in a land far from this one.
[ He completes the martini, pushing it across the bar before he leans towards Dick on folded arms. Rafa's fixed on his eyes, now. ]
But if you would like to make me drinks, I will not complain. Cocktails are a new interest to me. I spent hundreds of years learning to appreciate wine, and then I discover it is no longer in vogue. I always did appreciate your taste, Dick.
( showing off is well received -- dick looks shocked for a second, before he smiles and laughs, watching keenly to rafa making the drink. this really isn't the day he expected to have with him, honestly. but he also didn't really anticipate being so taken with rafa so immediately. maybe he should've -- if anything, he knows his own type, and knows that dick grayson always falls hard and fast, but. he just didn't. maybe he didn't want to.
this is nice, after all. but isn't it kind of a lie?
dick's eyebrows dance on his forehead, impressed. he takes a more leisurely stroll behind the bar, rolling his sleeves up further while he eyes all the various bottles, trying to make ups and downs. )
I have great taste. And, wine cocktails exist, you know. ( he stares at rafa briefly, as if reading into something, before pointing at him with a discovery. ) Red?
[ Rafa makes an attempt at stoic and unreadable, while Dick proceeds to read him perfectly. He laughs, and then turns to collect some bottles. ]
Yes, red. Italian reds, usually, but here?
[ He sets the bottles down. Most aren't labeled. Rafa sets them there, and then jumps up to perch on the edge of the bar, legs swinging. ]
Go by smell and taste. I trust you.
[ This isn't what he thought they would do. He thought they would explore the city, and instead they're playing with cocktails, making drinks together. Rafa could've imagined them doing this in Eudio. The feeling of this is as it was there, which is nice. But it's dangerous as well as nice, because he can't assume things are the same. All of this is new to Dick. Rafa himself is new.
( he's pretty casual for a king, even if his speech patterns are more ye olde than dick is used to. it's alright -- he's fondly reminded of auntie diana when he speaks, proper to his modern ears, but likely something that would get him scorned by nursery grade teachers back in his own world. dick stares at the bottles for a few moments before rising to the task, smelling them, tasting the one that smells the best. nice nice.
he flits about other bottles and various mixers, making something up in his head -- it's a lot like chemistry, to him, except in the end you get to drink it, instead of blowing something up. while he plays around, he speaks to rafa, flickering his gaze over his shoulder. )
[ Rafa watches with interest, unworried, and liking the way Dick works. He's methodical but creative, and he's already chosen multiple bottles that Rafa likes the taste of. Beyond that, it's just nice to see him work, to watch him move, to bask for a moment in that scent. He should bask less, probably. Instead he reminds himself of how it can't go further than this, how he can't touch that hand or kiss that cheek, and how this might be the first time since their very first meeting back in Eudio that Rafa didn't open it with roses. There won't be roses anymore.
He looks away at that thought, and tilts his head back only at the question of Gotham. That's significant, in fairness. He'd known it was when he dropped that name; that's why he'd done it. ]
Enough, yes. Not only from you, but from a girl named Stephanie, too. She was another friend. She told me of the...crime, and the danger, before you did. I was worried about you, until I saw that dancing was the very least of your skills.
[ He pauses, thinking about that. Thinking about how, technically, they're now in a war situation. This place has been peaceful so far, but Rafa cannot imagine it will remain so. They'll have other experiences like the alternate New York. He's sure of that. ]
That may be needed before we are done. I would worry for most humans, but with you, I worry for who might challenge you instead.
( stephanie he rakes through his brain, but comes up empty handed. could be some civilian, maybe, but instinct is telling him that's the wrong assumption. vigilante? but he knows basically everyone in and out of the league -- mostly he's the one who keeps his secret identity secret. he, and all the batfam, with the wrath of bruce wayne embedded into them. ( dick kind of misses the terror, the love, his father. )
the drink gets a good shake before he finishes, straining out something dark red in the shadows, shining orange at the right light. he steals a lemon slice for garnish before he passes it to rafa's hand, something bubbly and sweet and a little bit minty.
just like rafa! )
Viola.
( he settles in, leaning against the bar, gathering his own drink and playing with his straw, looking a bit sheepish. )
Skills? I really don't have any. ( if rafa didn't know the contrary, dick would certainly seem to be telling the truth. ) Definitely not dancing, pfft.
[ This is a conundrum. The tings Rafa knows are not things this Dick has told him. It's unfair, he thinks, to force that trust on someone who hasn't given it freely. Part of him thinks he should behave as though he knows nothing until Dick decides to change that, if he ever does. It would give he control back to him.
Except that it wouldn't, really. That control would only be superficial, and Rafa would be lying to Dick along the way. Would it be better to pretend at ignorance in order to earn trust, or would it be better to be trustworthy in the first place?
When he thinks about it like that, there's not really much to think about. He doesn't want to lie to Dick. ]
I know you have skills. I've seen them, and I've seen....the mask that wears those skills, in Gotham.
[ Is that clear enough? His eyes meet Dick's, and they're so worried about anger or discomfort. He drops his voice to a low murmur. ]
I hope...that does. It make things worse.
[ He reaches to take the drink, if only for something to do with his hands. Tasting it brings a surprise, though. It's sweet and has a little bit of fizz, enough to make him laugh with surprise. ]
This is very good. I knew I had faith in your taste.
( he watches rafa's mouth on the drink, considering. breaking down everything rafa has said, and reading into it, the way school books and bruce wayne taught him to. between the lines, over analytical. he lets out a soft exhale that is comprised mostly of old age, and leans back against the bar, crossing his arms over his chest. he's quiet for a little while.
it doesn't matter anymore, anyway. they're all dead, or going to be soon. and dick is here sharing drinks with a vampire. )
It's fine. You can say it -- Nightwing. It doesn't have the same weight it used to.
( a self-deprecating tone of voice swallows him then, drowns out the rest of whatever he was going to say with a finishing swallow of his cocktail. clark kent certainly wore the name better -- dick's done nothing but rake it through the mud.
he shrugs loosely, squinting his eyes at rafa, as if he might be able to flip the pages through his many years of age and find out every little thing that makes him how he is. is he trustworthy? does he hurt? what did he ever see in dick in the first place? )
I must've trusted you a lot, then. That's a very important secret to keep.
[ Rafa watches him take it in. He's probably overly anxious about what Dick might be thinking, how well he might accept this. Or not accept this. Maybe he'll just leave.
But he doesn't leave. He's quiet, and then somehow resigned to it, and Rafa lowers his eyes to his drink. It must seem inconceivable to him that his other self would have trusted someone like Rafa. Rafa doesn't even fully believe it himself, sometimes. He moves his hands over the glass, mostly to have something to do with them. ]
He didn't tell me. Not at first, it...we were playing, in the snow. [ The memory turns his voice soft. It's one of his favourite encounters with Dick. ] He was attacking me as Nightwing. Throwing snowballs. Dancing in the snow, playing with me. And I caught his scent. And he pulled me onto his lap, and I kissed him, and...
[ His hands go still. He makes himself look up, more in control now. ]
After that, I kept that secret. I know it is not fair, for me to know when it was not you who chose to trust me. I would have...preferred to wait, until I found out from you. If I ever did. But then I thought that trust must go both ways, and how could you ever choose to trust me if I kept from you that I knew this.
I have told no one, and will tell no one. I am so sorry. It should not have been like this.
( that is -- it's something, on top of all the other thousand-odd somethings in this conversation. dancing in the snow, kissing. dick feels the inclination to ask are you sure that was me?, but then figures there's probably some alternate universe version of himself who isn't nearly as much as a sob story, and doesn't get butterflies when he hears the fairytales of kisses. it's been awhile. it's been a long while. an embarrassingly long while. long enough that the suggestion of intimacy actually makes him chuckle a bit, hiding his laugh in the rim of his glass.
it sounds like a nice memory, anyway. dick wishes he could've lived it -- probably too much, a little bit more than anything. he drowns that particular sorrow in the bottom of his glass, rubbing the back of his neck shortly after. )
Seriously, Rafa. ( his eyebrows knit a bit sympathetically. ) You're not the first person to know, you probably won't be the last. It's -- it's fine, honestly. I'm not mad. ( he smiles at him, tooth and cheek, a fond look on your features. ) You sound like I just accused you on murder, or something. No biggie. No apologies necessary.
It's better you told me, anyway. At least I can be myself, around you. ( he nods. ) And that, that, is the best gift you could've given me. So, thank you! Much better than 'I'm sorry', eh? We're square.
[ It's just like Dick to try and make him feel better. His shoulders lower a fraction, losing just a bit of their tension. He is always, always overly worried about what people think of him. Especially when he badly wants them to like him. He overcompensates. He knows it, and he does it anyway.
He breathes out, before running his hand through his hair. ]
It does not matter if I'm not the first. It seems wrong to take a man's secrets before he is ready to give them. How fair is that, to you? I want to be your friend, Dick. If I'm allowed.
[ That's the very least of what he's ever wanted to be to Dick. After all that's happened, though, he feels it might already be too much to ask. He has to ignore the shadow that casts over his heart, and press on anyway. This Dick does not deserve to carry the burden of Rafa's feelings for his counterpart. They both need to get to know each other again. ]
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no subject
So does Dick, when he arrives. Rafa catches the scent before he sees him, and it brings back every moment wrapped in warm arms, the smooth chest rising and falling beneath him while his fingers had traced over scars, the sweet words whispered in his ear, the bright blue of eyes that had crinkled when they looked at him.
He turns, the drink in hand, and sees Dick almost exactly as he'd left him in Eudio. Almost. Some scars are missing, the scars that Damon had left. That brings mixed feelings, because it's confirmation that this is not Rafa's Dick, but it means no other vampire has ever marked him.
That shouldn't matter.
It does matter a little bit. And then Dick is as sweet as ever, making Rafa smile as soon as he speaks. He goes over to him, with the bar standing between them. He leans over it to set the drink on a coaster in front of Dick, and then looks up, dark eyes meeting brilliant blue. His smile softens. ]
You always knew how to charm me. The way you look at me as if I am the handsome one, as if you have never seen a mirror in your life.
[ He taps the base of the glass. ]
It looks wrong, but trust me. It should taste right.
This must all be so strange for you, my friend.
no subject
he supposes it's probably a good thing, to be told you're beautiful by someone you find stunning. but -- he's not a big fan. surely rafa must know how lovely he is, and if he doesn't, surely someone must remind him every now and then. he feels the carnal instinct to force rafa into trusting how beautiful he finds him -- and then he has the thought i probably told him that all the time. he swallows down a lump of emotion, stealing the glass with a brief tip in rafa's direction. )
If it tastes half as good as you look, I will be happy.
( yeah, he should definitely reel it back. from here on out, he's on his best behavior. he takes a drink smoothly, eyeing the drink with an understanding nod shortly after. )
Not bad, Rafa. You can make me drinks anytime.
( REEL IT BACK ... right. he nods more affirmatively in rafa's direction at the question, setting the glass down with a soft clink. )
It's something, alright. I'm not entirely sure how I'm feeling, but I think I really needed a drink, so. Thank you. And thank you for meeting up with me. I know it's probably ... it probably sucks, kind of.
no subject
His scent is the same to every last detail. The only difference is the scars. Which means that this Dick was never in Eudio, but he is still...
He is still. He is not like the other one, the one that had looked like Rafa. Or like Hunter. ]
You think that it sucks. [ Deadpan. Also, that phrase sounds strange on Rafa's tongue. ] To find you alive, to find you here, you think that would not make me happy. I thought you were lost.
[ And part of him is. That's a thing. The Dick that remembers Rafa kissing him is not here.
But this is Dick. In every way, it is. And he's alive. That's better than not knowing either way. ]
I will make you all the drinks you want. I hope I get to make many. I only worried I was making you...awkward, shall we say.
no subject
taking another sip, he shakes his head, hopefully setting rafa's worries at ease. dick feels the unruly need to console him, to show he doesn't need to apologize for anything. )
Don't worry about it, seriously. I'm learning that, ( his lips twist, a nervous habit of his. his eyes stay glued to the wooden bar. ) well, first, I'm incredibly charming and it is impossible to make me awkward. Also, I'm the one who doesn't remember what everyone here remembers, so I should be the one that feels bad, not you, or Vex, or Nico.
All of a sudden I am way more interested in where your accent comes from, then whatever Eudio is? One track mind, oops.
no subject
It seems they'll have to let Dick get to know them all over again. Rafa had enjoyed that the first time around. ]
Sicily. [ He says, with a little smile. ] An island off the coast of Italy. It has been a long time since I left, but the accent will never leave me, I think. I live in Prague these days. It is the centre of my kingdom, which reaches across Europe. Most who live with me are vampires, but there are also werewolves, some witches, and some others more removed. Even at that, I think it is a safer land than your Gotham.
[ He pauses to nod at Dick's glass. ]
Would you like more?
no subject
he had some relatively funny run ins with vampires, predominately ones who wanted to eat him, and called him weird things like delicious flesh bag or voluptuous meat. also not to be mentioned: he thinks it would be a more enjoyable experience, were rafa's fangs on the line.
he clears his throat, ) Yeah, more would be great.
I've been to Italy, molto bello. You said kingdom, so you're a king, then, right? ( dick whistles, impressed. ) I think I'm supposed to be making you the drinks, in that case.
no subject
He's showing off a little.
He shouldn't be flirting. He ought to stop that, because it's a bad idea, and it crosses some lines, and there's probably confusion involved, because his feelings are definitely excessive for a man he has technically just met. Halting this would be the right decision.
He does not make the right decision. He was never good at resisting temptation, and this Dick is so very much the Dick he knows. This whole experience reminds him of their first few nights together.
He puts the drink quickly together, different bottles and measures turning over in his hands. ]
I am a King. Technically, in a land far from this one.
[ He completes the martini, pushing it across the bar before he leans towards Dick on folded arms. Rafa's fixed on his eyes, now. ]
But if you would like to make me drinks, I will not complain. Cocktails are a new interest to me. I spent hundreds of years learning to appreciate wine, and then I discover it is no longer in vogue. I always did appreciate your taste, Dick.
no subject
this is nice, after all. but isn't it kind of a lie?
dick's eyebrows dance on his forehead, impressed. he takes a more leisurely stroll behind the bar, rolling his sleeves up further while he eyes all the various bottles, trying to make ups and downs. )
I have great taste. And, wine cocktails exist, you know. ( he stares at rafa briefly, as if reading into something, before pointing at him with a discovery. ) Red?
no subject
Yes, red. Italian reds, usually, but here?
[ He sets the bottles down. Most aren't labeled. Rafa sets them there, and then jumps up to perch on the edge of the bar, legs swinging. ]
Go by smell and taste. I trust you.
[ This isn't what he thought they would do. He thought they would explore the city, and instead they're playing with cocktails, making drinks together. Rafa could've imagined them doing this in Eudio. The feeling of this is as it was there, which is nice. But it's dangerous as well as nice, because he can't assume things are the same. All of this is new to Dick. Rafa himself is new.
He has to be careful, and doesn't want to be. ]
no subject
he flits about other bottles and various mixers, making something up in his head -- it's a lot like chemistry, to him, except in the end you get to drink it, instead of blowing something up. while he plays around, he speaks to rafa, flickering his gaze over his shoulder. )
You heard about Gotham, did you?
no subject
He looks away at that thought, and tilts his head back only at the question of Gotham. That's significant, in fairness. He'd known it was when he dropped that name; that's why he'd done it. ]
Enough, yes. Not only from you, but from a girl named Stephanie, too. She was another friend. She told me of the...crime, and the danger, before you did. I was worried about you, until I saw that dancing was the very least of your skills.
[ He pauses, thinking about that. Thinking about how, technically, they're now in a war situation. This place has been peaceful so far, but Rafa cannot imagine it will remain so. They'll have other experiences like the alternate New York. He's sure of that. ]
That may be needed before we are done. I would worry for most humans, but with you, I worry for who might challenge you instead.
no subject
the drink gets a good shake before he finishes, straining out something dark red in the shadows, shining orange at the right light. he steals a lemon slice for garnish before he passes it to rafa's hand, something bubbly and sweet and a little bit minty.
just like rafa! )
Viola.
( he settles in, leaning against the bar, gathering his own drink and playing with his straw, looking a bit sheepish. )
Skills? I really don't have any. ( if rafa didn't know the contrary, dick would certainly seem to be telling the truth. ) Definitely not dancing, pfft.
no subject
Except that it wouldn't, really. That control would only be superficial, and Rafa would be lying to Dick along the way. Would it be better to pretend at ignorance in order to earn trust, or would it be better to be trustworthy in the first place?
When he thinks about it like that, there's not really much to think about. He doesn't want to lie to Dick. ]
I know you have skills. I've seen them, and I've seen....the mask that wears those skills, in Gotham.
[ Is that clear enough? His eyes meet Dick's, and they're so worried about anger or discomfort. He drops his voice to a low murmur. ]
I hope...that does. It make things worse.
[ He reaches to take the drink, if only for something to do with his hands. Tasting it brings a surprise, though. It's sweet and has a little bit of fizz, enough to make him laugh with surprise. ]
This is very good. I knew I had faith in your taste.
no subject
it doesn't matter anymore, anyway. they're all dead, or going to be soon. and dick is here sharing drinks with a vampire. )
It's fine. You can say it -- Nightwing. It doesn't have the same weight it used to.
( a self-deprecating tone of voice swallows him then, drowns out the rest of whatever he was going to say with a finishing swallow of his cocktail. clark kent certainly wore the name better -- dick's done nothing but rake it through the mud.
he shrugs loosely, squinting his eyes at rafa, as if he might be able to flip the pages through his many years of age and find out every little thing that makes him how he is. is he trustworthy? does he hurt? what did he ever see in dick in the first place? )
I must've trusted you a lot, then. That's a very important secret to keep.
no subject
But he doesn't leave. He's quiet, and then somehow resigned to it, and Rafa lowers his eyes to his drink. It must seem inconceivable to him that his other self would have trusted someone like Rafa. Rafa doesn't even fully believe it himself, sometimes. He moves his hands over the glass, mostly to have something to do with them. ]
He didn't tell me. Not at first, it...we were playing, in the snow. [ The memory turns his voice soft. It's one of his favourite encounters with Dick. ] He was attacking me as Nightwing. Throwing snowballs. Dancing in the snow, playing with me. And I caught his scent. And he pulled me onto his lap, and I kissed him, and...
[ His hands go still. He makes himself look up, more in control now. ]
After that, I kept that secret. I know it is not fair, for me to know when it was not you who chose to trust me. I would have...preferred to wait, until I found out from you. If I ever did. But then I thought that trust must go both ways, and how could you ever choose to trust me if I kept from you that I knew this.
I have told no one, and will tell no one. I am so sorry. It should not have been like this.
no subject
it sounds like a nice memory, anyway. dick wishes he could've lived it -- probably too much, a little bit more than anything. he drowns that particular sorrow in the bottom of his glass, rubbing the back of his neck shortly after. )
Seriously, Rafa. ( his eyebrows knit a bit sympathetically. ) You're not the first person to know, you probably won't be the last. It's -- it's fine, honestly. I'm not mad. ( he smiles at him, tooth and cheek, a fond look on your features. ) You sound like I just accused you on murder, or something. No biggie. No apologies necessary.
It's better you told me, anyway. At least I can be myself, around you. ( he nods. ) And that, that, is the best gift you could've given me. So, thank you! Much better than 'I'm sorry', eh? We're square.
no subject
He breathes out, before running his hand through his hair. ]
It does not matter if I'm not the first. It seems wrong to take a man's secrets before he is ready to give them. How fair is that, to you? I want to be your friend, Dick. If I'm allowed.
[ That's the very least of what he's ever wanted to be to Dick. After all that's happened, though, he feels it might already be too much to ask. He has to ignore the shadow that casts over his heart, and press on anyway. This Dick does not deserve to carry the burden of Rafa's feelings for his counterpart. They both need to get to know each other again. ]